Kentish Football 
Tunbridge Wells 8-0 Holyport - Martin Larkin: We tore them to pieces. We were exceptional!
Saturday 13th November 2010
TUNBRIDGE WELLS 8-0 HOLYPORT
FA Carlsberg Vase Second Round
Saturday 13th November 2010
Stephen McCartney reports from Culverden Stadium
JUBILIENT Tunbridge Wells supporters sang “Que Sere Sera, whatever will be, will be, we’re going to Wembley, Que Sere Sera,” after their side recorded their biggest ever win in the FA Carlsberg Vase as Martin Larkin’s side booked their place in the LAST 64 with scintillating football on a sticky pitch at Culverden Stadium.
The Wells went into the Second Round tie against third-placed Hellenic League Division One East minnows Holyport on the back of a hurtful 5-1 defeat to foes Sevenoaks Town last weekend - and they were desperate to put that right against a side that have only lost one league game all season and the Maidenhead based outfit had progressed to this stage of the competition courtesy of a couple single goal victories away from home.
But some of the football played by Larkin’s men was not Kent League standard - but what’s expected up the road at Ryman Premier League Tonbridge Angels on a regular basis. They were that good and Holyport were sunk without trace.
“We were exceptional today,” a delighted Larkin told www.kentishfootball.co.uk afterwards. “You look at the pitch it’s not the best, we knocked it around in the first half and tore them to pieces with our movement.
“We told everyone last week not to over-react after the result and performance. We set ourselves up to make sure we performed and going forward we were just exceptional today and we kept a clean sheet against their front two, who have come down a couple of levels to play for them. I thought they (Holyport’s front two) were very sharp and good and we kept a clean sheet against them but hats off going forward, Hooley (Carl Cornell) and Keelen up top really set the tone and they were exceptional, very, very good going forward.”
Larkin added: “I just hope people don’t see the scoreline and think that they were crap because they weren’t, they’re a decent side. They’re doing very well in their league but we just had a point to prove today and we made sure we did that!”
If it’s goals you want then Culverden Stadium is the place to come and be entertained. The Wells have now won eight of their last ten games and have scored a whopping 28 goals in their last six home games (the opposition have scored 10) and are providing value for money.
Larkin’s side played out-of-this-world football in difficult conditions, destroying a shell-shocked Holyport side that were simply outclassed.
Andy McMath, Keelan Mooney and man-of-the-match Jon Pilbeam scored a couple of goals each, with Carl Cornell and substitute Ben Palmer also ensuring it was a woeful afternoon for visiting goalkeeper Kyle Bradley.
Surrey based referee, Mr John Ryan, even blew the whistle 91 seconds early, immediately after Palmer converted goal number eight, to put Holyport out of their misery.
Hove resident Larkin revealed afterwards that thirteen of today’s sixteen-man squad all live in Tunbridge Wells, with only Mooney, Scot Whibley (both Maidstone) and Orpington based substitute Rob Wells, imports.
Holyport’s vocal supporter was heard saying “this is going to be like Bambi on ice” as he walked from one side of the pitch to the other before kick-off.
The Berkshire club hailed this game to be “probably the most important game in their history“. Unfortunately for them, it turned out to be the most humiliating game of their history.
But it could have been so, so different, had leading goalscorer Lewis Driver smashed the ball into the Tunbridge Wells net (instead of wide of the right-post) after being released through on goal after just 19 seconds.
It was important to score an early goal, and that’s exactly what Tunbridge Wells did, after just 130 seconds.
Alex Rich released Cornell through the heart of the Holyport defence and a clearance from keeper Kyle Bradley ricochet of his left-back Ryan Britnell and fell at the striker’s feet, who was brought down by the keeper, who as last-man, was lucky only to get a yellow card.
Justice was served, however, when McMath stepped up and drove a right-footed penalty into the bottom right-hand corner, the diving keeper guessed the right way but his fingertips couldn’t prevent the ball finding the net.
Larkin was pleased that his side got off to a flying start.
He said: “We did that against Dulwich Hamlet as well, scored very early in a FA Cup game here.
“We’re keen to come out with a quick start and they were lucky the keeper didn’t walk for that as well to be honest.
“That penalty kick was going to set the tone for the rest of the game and Macca put it away expertly and we just built from there really.”
Tunbridge Wells keeper Michal Czanner made a comfortable save from a deflected right-footed dive from Ben Fillmore after Jason Bourne headed away a cross from the left.
Pilbeam’s diagonal pass set up a chance for left-sided midfielder Pilbeam, who’s scuffed shot was blocked by the advancing Bradley.
Bradley made his second save of the game in the 24th minute, as Tunbridge Wells produced some impressive slick football.
Left-back Rich started the move inside his own half and found his way to the by-line, following one-touch passes from McMath and Mooney and whipped in an excellent cross for Mooney to leap and power a header towards the roof of the net, but Bradley stuck out his right arm to turn the ball over the crossbar.
Holyport (who lost the corner count by 13-5) should have done better from Jonnie Mason’s right-wing corner, but Steve Daverall’s left-footed shot from 25-yards looped over the crossbar.
But PURE CLASS from former Maidstone United striker Mooney ensured Tunbridge Wells doubled their lead in the 29th minute.
Full credit must go to Pilbeam, who cut in from the right (leaving Deverall flat-footed) before he sprayed the ball across the face of the penalty area for Mooney to drop his shoulder, turn, and crack a stunning left-footed drive from the edge of the box, which rocketed into the top left-hand corner, giving Bradley no chance.
Larkin admitted that Ryman Premier League Maidstone United must regret letting such a talented striker leave.
“He’s an exceptional footballer, an exceptional lad as well and we’re very lucky to get him from Maidstone,” said Larkin.
“He’s enjoying his football more than he was before. We built a team around him and Hooley (Cornell). Keelan’s an exceptional talent, he shouldn’t be playing in the Kent League and we’re very, very lucky to have him.
“We’re hoping he’ll score a lot more goals. He scores spectacular ones and he gets tap-ins as well. He was very keen he led from the front today and he was exceptional.
Tunbridge Wells’ third goal arrived from their next shot on goal just six minutes later.
McMath swung in a corner from the left and Mooney flicked the ball on at the near post and Pilbeam rose like a salmon out of water to loop his header into the roof of the net from close range.
They went in at the break with a clinical 4-0 lead, scoring again in the 40th minute, with another excellent well taken finish.
Rich cut open central defenders Carl Reeves and Arron Coleman with a delicious through ball, which released Cornell through on goal and the confident striker looped a right-footed chip high into the air and Larkin took a deep breath before the ball dropped down into an unguarded net.
Praising the eight-goal striker, Larkin added: “Hooley’s technically our best player in terms of technique and there’s not many players in the (Kent) League with a better first touch than him.
“He’s a very good player as well and all the plaudits should go to him because he’s one of a few in the local area that last year decided to step up from the ease and the comfort of being in the County League (with Tonbridge Invicta) and he wanted to give it a go.
“We’ve got him and he’s just a fantastic player. He links up well with Keelan, took his goal very well.
“Yesterday he was in bed suffering with a migraine, he wasn’t well all day and he was struggling to focus today but it seems when he’s not feeling right he scores goals. He had a bad back against Bengal and scored four so he’s someone we might need to give a kicking before a game every time!”
The game was now won. But Larkin demanded that his side maintained the high standards that they reached during the first half.
“We wanted to make sure we kicked on and showed everyone what we were all about,” said Larkin.
“We set standards during the first half, we wanted to make sure we kept those standards, which is what we did and we said ‘quick start again, let’s get in behind them early’ and see if we can put their fire out because they’re going to come out quick in the second half so to score after 30 odd seconds put that to bed.
“We could’ve had a few more to be honest.”
It took the Kent League side only 33 second half seconds to score their fifth goal.
McMath raced forward down the inside right channel and dinked the ball across for Mooney to leave Bradley sitting on his backside as he rolled his ninth goal of the season over the line.
Pilbeam capped off an excellent display when he made it 6-0 in the 51st minute.
Strong central midfielder Carl Drew kept hold of the ball before teeing up Pilbeam, who slammed a low drive across the keeper to find the bottom far corner from a very tight angle.
“Pilbeam’s been our most improved player this year,” said Larkin. “We moved him from centre forward to right midfield and on a pitch like that, to do what he did with the ball at his feet was just incredible.
“He can be whatever he wants to be to be honest. He needs to work on his defensive shape a little bit more but he’s a very good player.
Holyport should have scored when Lee Ovens scuffed the ball towards the far post but striker Mason rolled his shot wide of the near post when well placed.
Larkin even had the luxury of making a like-for-like double substitution as he replaced strikers Mooney and Cornell with Ben Palmer and Jack Harris.
And Palmer made an instant impression as it was his hooked pass that found McMath and his delicate right-footed chip dropped into the far corner on the hour-mark.
Bradley restored a little bit of confidence when he dived to his right to turn aside Rich’s angled drive and was relieved when Palmer’s swept shot got stuck in the mud (as if it hadn’t then it would have bounced into the bottom far corner) after Harris’ low centre.
Tunbridge Wells did have a goal ruled out in the 72nd minute. Czanner launched a big kick down the heart of the pitch, which dropped over Coleman’s head and Palmer was flagged offside by the time he had rounded Bradley and slotted the ball into an open net.
Holyport finally called Czanner into serious action with five minutes remaining when substitute Dan Rapley cut in from the left and his low drive forced the giant Slovakian into making a low save to his left.
But the 2010 squad ensured they went into the record books as their record breaking eighth goal arrived in the 88th minute - 34 seconds before referee Mr Ryan brought the rout to an premature end.
Pilbeam released Harris, who left skipper Reeves flat-footed, but he was denied by a smart save from Bradley and seconds later Palmer converted with a left-footed finish.
The final whistle sparked wild celebrations; Czanner sprinting towards the celebrating home faithful on the main terrace with a summersault.
Winning 8-0 sends out a message. Larkin agreed saying, “That’s what we wanted to do. We spoke about it all week. We were very keen to address what happened last Saturday to make sure everyone know it was a blip.
“We’ve got a plan what we want to do over the next year and eighteen months and they’re going to be days where things don’t quite go for us so it was important when those days happen you react from it properly and today we’ve reacted and we were exceptional.”
Tunbridge Wells: Michal Czanner, Jason Bourne (Steve Ashmore 61), Alex Rich, Sam Phillips, Scot Whibley, Andy Boyle, Jon Pilbeam, Drew Crush, Keelan Mooney (Ben Palmer 57) , Carl Cornell (Jack Harris 57), Andy McMath.
Subs: Rob Wells, Callum Hampson.
Goals: Andy McMath 3 (pen), 60, Keelan Mooney 29, 46, Jon Pilbeam 35, 51, Carl Cornell 40, Ben Palmer 88
Booked: Drew Crush 21
Holyport: Kyle Bradley, Lee Ovens, Ryan Britnell, Aaron Coleman, Carl Reeves, Ben Fillmore (Adam Sharpe 52), Lee Jerrum, Sam Jones (James Flint 45), Jonnie Mason, Lewis Driver, Steve Deverall (Dan Rapley 71)
Subs: Alan Ackerman, Arron Ward.
Booked: Kyle Bradley 2, Jonnie Mason 73
Attendance: 129
Referee: Mr John Ryan (Worcester Park, Surrey)
Assistants: Mr Chris Blackie (Chessington, Surrey) & Mr Anthony Ireland (West Horsley, Surrey)
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